If you were planning on going to Cancun for a vacation, you might not be able to.

A beach in Cancun was shut down for stealing sand. That’s right, stealing sand. After Hurricane Wilma in 2005, much of the sand on the beach was washed away, and since then, sand has been pumped in from the ocean floor, but has been washed away.

The Gran Caribe Real Hotel has been stealing sand by building breakwaters to keep the sand in front of their hotel. However, this stops the natural movement of sand and keeps it away from the other Cancun, Mexico hotels and beaches.

Really, if there isn’t any sand, what’s the point of going to the beach?

The Tourism board of Queensland Australia is looking for someone to come down and live on an island on the Great Barrier Reef. You’re job would be to be the caretaker of the island, swim, fish, play with turtles, and basically have a six month vacation and get paid $150,000 AUD Dollars (approximately $95,000 US).

It sound to good to be true, but it sure is worth a shot. The only catch is that you have to blog about it. Huh, sounds like exactly what I do here on this blog. I write about the beach, everything about it to give people an idea of what they are missing, or where they should go.

I’ve seriously thought about doing this job, I would love to do it. Nothing would be better to me than living on the beach and just telling everyone what I’m doing. My boss said that if I did, we would work it out. I could do it, as I blog about the beach anyway, my job is in internet marketing, and analyzing web traffic. But, I never do seem to win anything, and it would be hard on my wife who would not be able to take a leave of absence from her job.

If you want to check it out, the Island Reef Job is open to anyone to apply, just have to shoot a small video with an application.

What a job for a real beach bum.

I’m sure that everyone reading this understands how life can sometimes just get in the way of life. It’s times like that when slipping away to a warm beach somewhere appeals to me the most. Especially since yesterday I woke up and there was ice on the ground. I hate the cold.

I look out my window and see frost or snow, the heat is on, and i’m still a little cold. Yet when I close my eyes, I can see the sun beating down on the sand. Unfortunately, I just can’t feel it. Maybe I should buy a sun lamp. Yeah, put a sand box in the basement, with a sun lamp and a recording of some waves and seagulls. That sounds good. My own private beach, sort of.

Sorry for the rambleness of this post. It’s hard to keep writing about a place you want to be, but can’t get to. I keep saying I need to do some research for this blog on a beach in the Caribbean, but my wife keeps talking some nonsense about work and a paycheck or something.

Enjoy this picture. It’s where I want to be.

1. The Baths – Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands

Snorkeling, caves, grotto’s and beautiful sandy beaches are what you can expect at The Baths in BVI. The giant boulders have created a type of maze to walk through.

2. Flamenco Beach – Culebra Island, Puerto Rico

Tropical forests, beaches, nature, turtles. What more could you want from an exotic island. Much of Culebra Island is protected, for wildlife, plants, and historic monuments.

3. Flic en Flac – Mauritius

Flic en Flac is a small village on the West Coast of Mauritius. Of course, it has the required white sand beaches, and it also has a blue lagoon.

4. Copacabana – Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Before you start trying to sing some Barry Manilow, this isn’t the nightclub, but the beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. This is the opposite of a quiet village, and is one of the party capitals of the world.

5. Playa Tamarindo – Costa Rica

If you want to get away, go to Playa Tamarindo Costa Rica. The jungle looks like it comes right up to the beach. The sea turtles love it so much, they come back every year to make more sea turtles.

Come back for the next five exotic beaches on the list.

This year Concierge listed 17 beaches that they think are the sexiest beaches in the world. I know that there are going to be different opinions on this, so let me know what you think in the comments.

Here are the first 10.

Ka?, Turkey

Do you daydream of the old world Mediterranean? The ancient architecture, the sagas of wars over beautiful women, the…togas? Look and you’ll find it in southwest Turkey, rife with historic seaside towns and Roman ruins along the sea. Imagine the private recreations: “You, Venus; me, Adonis.”

A crumbling amphitheater, tombs, a Roman temple, and, yes, one helluva nice beach. Archeologists have made a rich historical find at Patara, not far from the town of Ka?. The other upshot, other than being able to explore the ruins on your own, is that the beautiful, 10-mile-long Patara Beach is protected from development.

Privacy rating: 3 out of 10. This part of the world has been well populated for many thousands of years.

With a vista toward the Greek island of Meis, the hillside Villa Hotel Tamara has three terraced platforms, two of which have pools (one filled with saltwater). The third terrace is almost level with the sea, so you can dive right in. Suites have French doors that open onto glass-enclosed balconies and hot tubs.

Villa Hotel Tamara
Tel: 90 242 836 2112
Doubles from $154

Malibu, California

Why Malibu, you ask? Angelina Jolie, Cindy Crawford, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Pamela Anderson…in swimsuits. [Like I really care what they think.]

If Malibu’s beaches were supermodels, Zuma would be Cheryl Tiegs: blond, well-proportioned, and friendly. It’s open to the public, and there’s parking too. (Head to the volleyball courts for great, um, people-watching.) For the more attitudinal side of Malibu, look to the Naomi Campbell-esque Carbon Beach (a.k.a. Millionaire’s), which is great to look at but can be vicious to outsiders (think security guards, “No Trespassing” signs, and lawsuits).

Privacy rating: Zuma Beach: 2. Millionaire’s Beach, that nearly inaccessible bit of sand and rock fronted by a $20-million mansion: 9.8.

Position yourself on the same beach as the stars’ homes. The Malibu Beach Inn is owned by movie mogul David Geffen, and your very private balcony will look onto Millionaire’s Beach itself. Plus, it’s only a short walk to David’s own house for Saturday night drinks…your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to secure an invite.

Malibu Beach Inn
Tel: 800 462 5428 (toll-free)
Tel: 310 456 6444
Doubles from $325

Geoffrey’s Malibu
Tel: 310 457 1519

Paros, Greece

There’s just something about the Greek Islands that encourages exuberant behavior. This outcropping of sand and craggy rocks in the Cyclades, 13 miles long and 10 wide, is giving Mykonos a run for its ouzo-fueled reputation, and attracts a heady mix of sun-loving Europeans and on-the-make locals.

Kolymbithres Beach, pictured, is dominated by curiously shaped rocks rising out of the aquamarine Aegean. Perhaps they were shaped by centuries of gentle winds—or maybe it’s the friction from all the scantily clad bodies sunbathing on top of them.

Since you’ll be spending the day sleeping at Kolymbithres and the nights in Naousa, stay at Astir of Paros. This 57 room hotel is built in traditional style and sits in tropical gardens on Kolymbithres, a five-minute drive to town. And if you’re in a hurry to arrive on Paros from the mainland, take advantage of its private helicopter pad.

Astir of Paros
Tel: 30 22840 51976
Doubles from $378

Loreto, Mexico

Mexico has long been a haven for Americans looking to to escape—from posses on horseback, from unpaid taxes, from the FBI, angry exes, or even oneself. But in Spring Break towns like Cancún, that mystique is as dead as Raymond Chandler. Not so in Baja’s Loreto, 700 miles south of San Diego. It’s still the kind of place where you might meet a mysterious brunette at a beachside watering hole who’s happy to share her tequila—but not her last name.

Even on the edge of town, the Sea of Cortez is a magical thing, soft and azure one moment, sparkly neon green the next. But to truly experience the isolation and grandeur of this as yet unadulterated area of Baja, hire a boat or pilot a kayak to Danzante, one of the small desert islands in the 800-square-mile Loreto Bay National Marine Park.

Privacy rating: 9.7. The waters are calm, the locals aren’t nosy, and a kayak will take you to many a dead-quiet cove.

Since you’re hiding out, best not stay in town. Rather, book an off-the-radar bolthole like Danzante Eco Resort, 25 miles south of Loreto. The nine simple rooms have views to Danzante Island and even free kayaks to get you there. And since there are no phones or Internet, nobody from the outside world will be able to track you down.

Danzante
Tel: 408 354 0042
Doubles from $360, including meals

Pemba Island, Tanzania

There are places to get away, and there are faraway places. Take Pemba Island: You’ll know you’re off the tourist route when you finally reach Zanzibar, in East Africa—and you’ve got another flight to go. When you and your lover fantasize about chucking it all (the jobs, the stress, the kids…) and living off the grid in a remote land, this Spice Island is the place you’re dreaming of.

They simply call them the sandbanks: the beaches that are reborn when the iridescent waters slide back with the tide. These strings of white-sand pathways make for ideal strolls or launching points for snorkeling.

Privacy rating: 3, on the island itself. (You don’t want to scandalize the locals.) Charter your property’s traditional dhow to whisk you to uninhabited Misali Island to achieve the perfect 10.

Tourist infrastructure is scant, so the Brit-owned Fundu Lagoon (pictured) comes as a bit of a shock. The infinity pool is the tip-off to the luxury on offer here, as are the thatched superior suites that sit on the beach and come with two private terraces and a plunge pool.

Fundu Lagoon
Tel: 255 76 35 92 820
Doubles from $740, including dhow sunset cruise and all food and drink

Providencia

The Caribbean islands sprinkled off the coast of Nicaragua offer a tantalizing cultural brew—one part Afro-Caribbean, with two jiggers of Latin America. Providencia, under Colombian jurisdiction, is a back-to-basics paradise where beach shacks hum with both reggae and salsa, beers are cheaper than bottled water, and there’s nothing to do but back-float in calm, sun-dappled waters.

Only three miles long and two miles wide, Providencia won’t take long to explore, but once you hit the khaki crescent of Playa Manzanillo, with palm trees hanging over the water, it’s unlikely you’ll want to go any further.

Privacy rating: 4. There are no T-shirt shops on the beach, but there will be a number of locals enjoying the surf as much as you are. And they like to visit.

Long sunny days, the slow pace, and cheap lobster dinners are more than a match for more typical luxury. The 35-room Sol Caribe Providencia sits on a quiet bay and has its own restaurant, bar, and swimming pool. By the end of the first day, you’ll be on a first-name basis with all the ladies manning that restaurant and bar.

Sol Caribe Providencia
Tel: 57 851 48036
Doubles from $135, including breakfast and lunch or dinner daily

Lanzarote, Canary Islands

Looking for heat, you say? Well, this is a volcanic island, after all, and despite Lanzarote’s location 100 miles off the coast of Africa, it’s Spanish (and the locals are, well, passionate). Much of the interior is made up of jagged lava fields, and the black sand beach pictured here is called El Golfo.

If quiet splendor (and skin) is your thing, head south: Caleta del Congrio is a remote beach at the island’s southern tip where fair young things are known to shed all their clothes. Choices abound, though: The island is ringed by some 90 white-, golden-, and black-sand beaches.

Privacy rating: 8.7. We already said it: 90 beaches.

The influx of budget vacationers hurts the lodging around the island, but the Hesperia Lanzarote, which has sister hotels in Madrid and Bilbao, gets it right. Located in Puerto Calero, it has 46 suites and 289 standard rooms; four swimming pools; comfortable cabanas on the water; and a good, clean design that plays up the Mediterranean influence.

Hesperia Lanzarote
Tel: 34 828 080 800
Doubles from $194

Oahu, Hawaii

Oahu gets its share of loud shirt–wearing tourists, but it’s surprising how few venture around the entire island, choosing instead to nurse fruity drinks in Waikiki. Which leaves the North Shore and nearby beaches to the hot surfer boys and girls and superfit locals. And you’re free to mix it up with them.

In winter, the North Shore’s Sunset Beach is legendarily sexy—have you ever seen so many hard bodies toting around their surfboards? Great ogling, but you don’t want to get in that pounding surf yourself. A short drive away is Kailua Beach, a sweet arc of sand where the pretty girls and sporty guys from the moneyed enclave of Kailua like to body-board.

Privacy: 2. Sorry, bud, it’s a small island, and the locals have claimed the most secluded bits as their own.

Turtle Bay is right at the North Shore—and after a long evening hanging out at the house where all the surfers live, you won’t want to drive all the way south to one of the big resorts. If possible, book one of the 42 cottages, which have more personality than the 400-plus rooms.

Turtle Bay Resort
Tel: 800 203 3650 (toll-free)
Tel: 808 293 6000
Doubles from $340; cottages from $703

St. Lucia, Caribbean

If curious couples once fantasized about Jamaica—a sensual green-and-blue paradise that’s still close to home—these days St. Lucia has assumed that role. The verdant island has an increasing number of top-tier properties, a host of possible land and water adventures to spice things up, and plenty of sand to roll around in as the surf breaks over your bodies.

The island has archetypal Caribbean beaches such as Reduit—which, while oh so pretty, are sardined with sun-reddened tourists. If lying around doesn’t suit, Cas-en-Bas on the Atlantic coast is more geared towards the adrenaline set, with pursuits such as kiteboarding or racing in the surf on horseback, like the handsome fellow pictured. You can rent horses from the International Riding Stables in nearby Gros Islet (though we’d suggest springing for the saddle rental, too, unlike this guy).

Privacy rating: 6.5. The island keeps getting more popular, so ditch the crowds and slip away to a hidden spot—underneath the waterfall at the Botanical Garden‘s mineral baths, for instance.

The newest resort property is Landings St. Lucia, in the north (only 15 minutes or so from Cas-en-Bas). The one- to three-bedroom villas are sparkling new, there’s an 800-foot private beach dotted with pools and hot tubs, and the huge RockResorts spa will get the kinks out.

Landings St. Lucia
Tel: 877 657 7625 (toll-free)
Doubles from $225

International Riding Stables
Tel: 758 452 8139

Perth, Australia

The Aussies may be world-class friendly, but even they get tourist-weary in places like Sydney. To achieve that “I’m an outsider, wanna buy me a drink?” sizzle, it’s hard to beat the west coast, near Perth. The locals pride themselves on being a little wilder, a little more independent, and a lot more entertaining. Challenge a cute one to a drinking contest.

This photo was shot at Mindarie Keys—a perfect spot on the 20-plus miles of Sunset Coast that run north from Perth. Think long washes of bone-white beaches and a clear Indian Ocean that blushes brilliant red at sunset. If you set off from Perth’s busy city center, you’ll be here in less than 30 minutes.

Privacy rating: 7.7. Chances are, new acquaintances will love to show you their favorite swath of solitary sand. If you’re in the mood to duck away on dry land, ask for a tour of nearby Yanchep National Park, famous for some 600 natural caves and colonies of fuzzy-wuzzy koalas.

Perth’s a lovely city, but there’s no reason to listen to the sound of traffic when you wake in the morning. Opt instead for the sound of boats clinking softly together at the Mindarie Marina, which has really nice suites at even nicer rates. Each has a balcony overlooking the water and access to the swimming pool and tennis courts, and—most importantly—the hotel is about a three-minute walk to the beach where this lass was photographed.

Mindarie Marina
Tel: 618 9305 9305
Suites from $140

So there are the first ten beaches, check out the seven remaining sexy beaches.

They plan to launch the first flights starting in mid 2008, but there is now word that I’ve seen on how cheap it will be. I personally think that if they are able to really bring cheap flights to everyone, the Caribbean will see a big increase in visitors. Plus, it means that Caribbean vacations will be cheaper.

The article described Laguna as a pretty and pristine beach town that blends a laid-back lifestyle with luxury, touting the artsy village, quaint boutiques and coffeehouses along with the private coves along the coast.

“We are very proud that Cosmopolitan Magazine has honored Laguna Beach as one of its top destinations,” said Judy Bijlani, executive director of the Laguna Beach Visitors & Conference Bureau. “Laguna Beach is a romantic seaside village with many vacation options and cultural activities. It is the perfect year-round destination for a getaway.”

Laguna Beach has received its share of accolades this year. It was named one of the Top 10 beaches in America this summer by msn.com and aol.com. Its water quality made Laguna Beach the only West Coast member of the National Resources Defense Council’s “Beach Buddies” list this summer, meeting public health standards more than 90 percent of the time in 2006. The city was also ranked No. 1 in the United States in economic impact of the arts on a per capita basis, including total spending by both organizations and audiences.

Journalist Maryann Hammers, who wrote the piece, said her article focused on scenic, sexy places to which she’d traveled. Her editors chose Laguna Beach among the top three from a list of 15 destinations Hammers had compiled.

The criteria Hammers considered in the list included beautiful, romantic locales in the United States to which Cosmo readers would want to travel, keeping a Cosmo girl’s budget in mind.

Hammers, who first traveled to Laguna Beach 25 years ago, called it a “quintessential beach town.”

“When you think of perfect beach town, a place like Laguna comes to mind,” she said. “It has a lot going for it.”

I really don’t understand what makes a place sexy. Do you agree with these three choices, or would you choose somewhere else for what you think is the most romantic getaway? Let everyone know what you think in the comments.

Should anyone own the beach?

This past August a group of homeowners in Kailua installed a 6-foot tall gate — with a combination lock! — at the end of their private road to stop people from using the right-of-way to the beach.

Naturally, this has infuriated a collection of Kailua residents, surfers and beachgoers who are fed up with wealthy homeowners restricting access to a beach everyone should be able to enjoy. (Read story in today’s paper here.)

With this latest gate — it’s located at the end of L’Orange Place — the stretch of N. Kalaheo Avenue only has four marked public access paths to Kailua Beach. Four. That’s about the same — if not less — than the number of right-of-ways to Lanikai Beach. Which is, well, substantially smaller than Kailua Beach.

What’s going on here?

It’s worrisome to me that there aren’t more conversations about these restrictions to beaches and surf breaks.

And it’s happening all over the Islands, from the northern coast of Kauai’i to the shores of La’ie. It’s long been an issue in Kahala, around the North Shore of O’ahu and along Kalaniana’ole Highway.

Public access to a 1.5-mile strip of Portlock beachfront — and some of my favorite breaks — was almost denied to beachgoers about two years ago.

So who’s right? Homeowners? Beachgoers? A public clamoring for equity?

Should people who live along private roads — as in Kailua — be allowed to block access to the beach fronting their homes? After all, they paid big bucks for their homes and privacy, right? Should they have to deal with the increased vehicle and pedestrian traffic and other headaches that accompany the right-of-way?

Or does the public have a right to access any beach, anywhere? And should the city and/or state step up and make sure there are enough public right-of-ways along long stretches of beaches so the burden doesn’t fall on just a few communities?

So what do you think?

That’s right. Elite Island Resorts has banned cell phones, PDA’s and laptops from being used within a half a mile of the beach. Sound bad? I don’t think so. I love it. Think of laying there on the warm sand, the sun beating down, the waves crashing. Maybe a few seabirds crying far overhead. So relaxing. Peaceful.

RINGGGGG, RINGGGGG!!!! (or some other increasingly annoying ring tone) “Hello? HELLO? WHAT? YEAH. I’m on vacation. I’M ON VACATION! AT THE BEACH!”

Is that what you want to hear? Not me. I’m all for banning electronics on the beach. Well, maybe not banning, but please people, have some respect for those who are trying to get away from the world for a while.

Do you agree? If you do, or if you don’t, let me know.

Then this morning when I was going through some Google Alerts, i came across two different posts about cows on beaches.

The first is over on Flickr, and is just a picture of a cow, and yes, he is on a is a beach.

The next story is about a cattle drive that happened on Huntington Beach in California. It was a publicity stunt to get some interest in the Orange County Fair. It also misplaced some surfers for a few hours. Luckily, there were designated pooper scoopers to clean the beach afterwards.