The Tourism board of Queensland Australia is looking for someone to come down and live on an island on the Great Barrier Reef. You’re job would be to be the caretaker of the island, swim, fish, play with turtles, and basically have a six month vacation and get paid $150,000 AUD Dollars (approximately $95,000 US).

It sound to good to be true, but it sure is worth a shot. The only catch is that you have to blog about it. Huh, sounds like exactly what I do here on this blog. I write about the beach, everything about it to give people an idea of what they are missing, or where they should go.

I’ve seriously thought about doing this job, I would love to do it. Nothing would be better to me than living on the beach and just telling everyone what I’m doing. My boss said that if I did, we would work it out. I could do it, as I blog about the beach anyway, my job is in internet marketing, and analyzing web traffic. But, I never do seem to win anything, and it would be hard on my wife who would not be able to take a leave of absence from her job.

If you want to check it out, the Island Reef Job is open to anyone to apply, just have to shoot a small video with an application.

What a job for a real beach bum.

I’m sure that everyone reading this understands how life can sometimes just get in the way of life. It’s times like that when slipping away to a warm beach somewhere appeals to me the most. Especially since yesterday I woke up and there was ice on the ground. I hate the cold.

I look out my window and see frost or snow, the heat is on, and i’m still a little cold. Yet when I close my eyes, I can see the sun beating down on the sand. Unfortunately, I just can’t feel it. Maybe I should buy a sun lamp. Yeah, put a sand box in the basement, with a sun lamp and a recording of some waves and seagulls. That sounds good. My own private beach, sort of.

Sorry for the rambleness of this post. It’s hard to keep writing about a place you want to be, but can’t get to. I keep saying I need to do some research for this blog on a beach in the Caribbean, but my wife keeps talking some nonsense about work and a paycheck or something.

Enjoy this picture. It’s where I want to be.

1. The Baths – Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands

Snorkeling, caves, grotto’s and beautiful sandy beaches are what you can expect at The Baths in BVI. The giant boulders have created a type of maze to walk through.

2. Flamenco Beach – Culebra Island, Puerto Rico

Tropical forests, beaches, nature, turtles. What more could you want from an exotic island. Much of Culebra Island is protected, for wildlife, plants, and historic monuments.

3. Flic en Flac – Mauritius

Flic en Flac is a small village on the West Coast of Mauritius. Of course, it has the required white sand beaches, and it also has a blue lagoon.

4. Copacabana – Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Before you start trying to sing some Barry Manilow, this isn’t the nightclub, but the beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. This is the opposite of a quiet village, and is one of the party capitals of the world.

5. Playa Tamarindo – Costa Rica

If you want to get away, go to Playa Tamarindo Costa Rica. The jungle looks like it comes right up to the beach. The sea turtles love it so much, they come back every year to make more sea turtles.

Come back for the next five exotic beaches on the list.

Many people believe that talk about beach bums in a negative way. They emphasize the bum part of it. That is changing, as there are many people out there who are and want to be beach bums. But what makes them that way? Laziness? No discipline? Millions in the bank? Personally, I don’t think it’s any of those.

Being a beach bum is a state of mind. It does really help to have a beach to bum on, but many of us can’t do that year round. Probably one of the most well known beach bums is
Matthew McConaughey. I know, the girls love him. But even so, I do like the parts he plays, from the drugged up burn-out in “Dazed and Confused” to his more recent “Sahara” he plays the relaxed, easy going beach bum very well. OK, enough of Matthew McConaughey.

A State of Mind

It’s a state of mind that separates the wannabes from the true beach bums. A wannabe loves to be at the beach, and loves the whole lifestyle, for a little bit, or because it’s cool. After that, they can’t take it anymore. The true beach bum lives it all the time. I work full time. I’m also good at what I do. But I can still be a beach bum. You don’t have to live right at the beach in Florida, Jamaica, California or the Caribbean to be a beach bum.

I know, I’m sure there are those out there that will disagree with me, and you know what? Good. Disagree with me. I want to know if you think a beach bum is something different. This is just what I’ve found in my years of experience.

Jimmy Buffet is the King of Beach Bums

To prove my point, would anybody argue that Jimmy Buffett isn’t a beach bum? I didn’t think so. Jimmy Buffett is the king of beach bums. His music is the soundtrack to the beach. But yet, he works extremely hard. Writing music, writing books, touring, that’s not an easy, laid back life, yet he does it. It’s all in his state of mind.

How to be a Beach Bum

Of course nobody’s perfect, even at beach bummin, but we all try. How do you become a beach bum? Well, relax. When things get crazy, and you think you can’t handle it, relax. I myself have a hard time with this, but I’m getting better. You can’t change the situation, but you can change how you react to it. I know, That sounds so cheesy and cliche, but hey, it’s true.

Life isn’t easy, that’s why God made the beach. It’s His way of giving us an escape. Personally I think that the Caribbean (and Jamaica especially) is proof of that.

Live Your Life, and Enjoy It Too

So if you want to be a beach bum, just relax. Take it easy. You still need to work, but work at something you enjoy.

See you at the beach,

The Beach Bum

Anyway, it’s pretty cool, you can buy this Beach Bum Paradise t-shirt (that is in no way affiliated with me).

Buy a shirt and show your support for those hard working beach bums. Or use it to brag if you are one.

(The above photo is taken from Capistrano Beach House rental in Dana Point California.)

You can celebrate Christmas anywhere, even on the beach. My wife would have something to say about that, since if there’s not snow on the ground on Christmas morning, she’s upset. Of course, we rarely have snow here on Christmas, we do today however.

OK, back to the beach. This would be ideal to me. Actually, I think I’ll give you all an MP3 of Jimmy Buffett singing ‘Christmas Island.’ When I listen to that, it makes me long for the beach, and hate the cold here even more.

I tried to find a nativity scene on the beach, but I couldn’t. You can find Santa’s, Elves, girls in Santa outfits, and Christmas Trees, but you can’t find Mary, Joseph and Jesus on the beach.

I want the beach. No, let me clarify, I want a WARM beach. Somewhere down south. As Jimmy Buffett says, “I need to go where it’s warm.”

That’s a beautiful picture and all, but when was the last time you saw a beach bum wearing a winter coat.

1. Thou shall pick the perfect beach.

It’s not that hard really. Baja California in Mexico is one of the most diverse, and beautiful places to beach bum in. The beaches are made of fine white sand, the seafood is divine and there are a multitude of bars and nightclubs to party the night away. It doesn’t hurt that it is located near the border, making it extremely accessible for those living in the California and San Diego area. If you’re up for more upper-class beaches, then troop over to Hawaii, Ibiza or even in the French Riviera. The point is to pick a beach you can own.

2. Thou shall not peel or burn.

Nothing ruins a perfect day in the sun than badly-peeling, sun-burnt skin. Refrain from looking like a bad paint job, and get thee some sunscreen ASAP! Nothing wrong with slathering on the lotion, you’ll thank us years later, when you’re not dying from skin cancer.

3. Thou shall pack light.

Really. You’re at the beach. All you need are bikinis or board shorts. Whatever else do you need? Okay, maybe you can pack for the nightly party at the bar. But you don’t need tons of clothes for that. Pack light. With the heat of the sun, that’s all you’ll want to wear anyway.

4. Thou shall eat right.

And by right, we mean a lot. Of seafoods. Take advantage of your proximity to the beach. Get in touch with the marina flavor. Try out all kinds of fish, lobster, shrimps, clams, oysters. There are so many tastes and textures and flavors to enjoy from the seas. It doesn’t have to be a gourmet dinner. A simple meal of fish cooked over an open fire will provide you with gastronomic delight you never imagined.

5. Thou shall learn to surf.

Oh come on. Don’t tell me you can’t resist riding the waves. Not even once? When you’re atop that surfboard, it will be an exhilarating experience. Plus, all that paddling will help you lose those pounds you gained enjoying the island’s fresh cuisine. Try surfing, lots of beaches have shops that offer lessons for beginners. Just don’t come after us when you experience wiping out for the first time.

6. Thou shall build a bonfire on the beach.

At least for one night at the beach, build a bonfire, and spend a laid-back night underneath the stars. Gather up your friends, or cozy up to your sweetie. Toast some marshmallows, or toss back a couple of beers. It’s a guaranteed activity you’ll never forget.

7. Thou shall party all night.

Find the hottest spot on the area and dance the night away! It’s a blast meeting new friends, and just letting it all out. Just be careful and you’ll have the time of your lives.

8. Thou shall mingle with the locals.

Get some culture in your system. It’s fun learning about the local’s traditions, their habits and their culture in general. You’ll get pointers on living in the area, and you may even get the inside info on the good buys on the island, and save a fortune by avoiding tourist prices.

9. Thou shall take lots and lots and lots of pictures.

You know what they say, “If we don’t see pictures, it didn’t happen.”

10. Thou shall have the absolute best fun possible.

If we need to explain this, then you’re too uptight to be a beach bum.

That’s pretty good. The point is to have fun, not worry about anything, and just relax.

The thing is, he’s not in Florida, or California, but New Jersey. Where there is only beach weather for about three months. Of course Bruno goes to the beach anyway, into November or longer.

He has no bank account, credit cards, or cell phone. He was given a house by an elderly couple when they died. He works as a massage therapist on the side. People on the beach love him. They bring him food, he does favors for them, and he talks to them. He has no worries.

It is amazing to me that someone can still live the way he wants in our culture. I love the beach, and relaxing, but I don’t know if I could be so dedicated that I did nothing but sit there all day. I’m not sure if I’m that lazy. I kind of have mixed feelings about this. I kind of admire Bruno. Maybe I’m a little jealous too, but I also think that he’s got no life. Nothing to live for.

“My goal is a healthy hundred,” he says. On that day, Sept. 13, 2048, he will set up as usual, take a bottle of sleeping pills and leave a note. Hopefully, the sun will be out.

That, to me, is sad.

Is it still fun? Be honest.—Peter Smith, MERRIMACK, N.H.
Yeah. I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t fun. You know, I just played a show in Virginia where 26,000 people stood in the rain to hear us. That makes a mark on you. We’re showing people how, in a pretty crazy and whacked-out, dangerous world, you can still have fun.

What is the most memorable concert you’ve ever attended?—Barbara Bernacchi, CHICAGO
Back in 1976 I was, I think, in Chicago, and Bob Marley was touring then, and I didn’t know who he was. I was working a little club, and a waitress told me, “You gotta see this guy.” I went, and it probably changed my musical life ever since.

If you could work with one artist you haven’t already worked with, who would it be?—Thomas Schisler, BALTIMORE
Jerry Garcia and I had always talked about doing a Parrothead-Deadhead show together. Unfortunately, we can’t do that now. I love what Jack Johnson does. He believes in what he does, and it works. I know how that feels. I would love to do a big show with Jack.

When you’re writing your books, do you do a lot of revising, or does it just come out nearly the way it ends up?—George Wolfe, CONCORD, N.C.
Oh, no, it’s edit, edit, edit. It’s almost like getting a boat ready to go to sea. You’ve still got a countless number of things left to fix, but you’ve just got to go, “O.K., everybody get on the boat. We’re going, ready or not.”

“Party with a purpose” is the motto of many local Parrothead fan clubs. Do you have any new plans for helping your followers do more good in the world?—Julie Eliza, TALLAHASSEE, FLA.
I think if I lead by example, that’s the best thing. I come from a pretty environmental kind of background, but I’ve got toys [yachts, planes, etc.]. So you know, the obvious thing next is to try to green myself up first and lead by example. It’s a hard one, but I’m working on it.

What is your opinion of the U.N.’s removal of Everglades National Park from endangered status?—Debbie DeNeese WILTON MANORS, FLA.
You know, I don’t know enough about it right now. Is it good news? Just based on personal experience and under this Administration, anyone who announces that something is off an endangered list, I’d be looking for bulldozers behind ‘em, you know? [Laughs.]

Who do you like in the next presidential election, and why?—Dave McCrudden, NORRISTOWN, PA.
I am still looking because I’d like to see a little bit of something out of the norm. Coming out of this presidency and the damage it has done everywhere, I think that there’s a great opportunity. I travel, and I see that people abroad have a very amazing way of loving American culture even if they don’t like our politicians.

Your music got me through some pretty stressful deployments. Have you ever done a USO tour?—Nathan Methvin-Terry, CHICO, CALIF.
I have not been to Iraq or Afghanistan. But I work a lot with a veterans’ organization called Wounded Warriors. No matter what I think of the ridiculous way this war has been carried out, I think we owe those kids something, and I am going to do what I can to help.

After all your success, what’s left?—Chris Hildebrandt, PITTSBURGH, PA.
When it is all said and done, I am going to teach. There comes a point where you want to share your wisdom if you get to do the things I’ve done. Of course, if you want to see me teach, I don’t think I will be at Fargo in February. You might have to find me at the University of Hawaii.

Can we switch places for a day? You know, I go fly around the Caribbean, and you work my lame-o day job?—Stephen Feinberg, OAKLAND, CALIF.
Switch places for a day? Well, I don’t know. I got it pretty good. I never had a real day job. I consider this a summer job, but it has lasted quite a long time. I would suggest you go out and look for a summer job. Maybe you will have as much luck as I did.

For some reason they said 10, but here are 11 more questions.

If Jerry Jeff Walker had never driven you down to Key West, what would you be doing now and where would you be doing it? —Zach Cato in Madisonville, Kentucky
If Jerry Jeff hadn’t driven me to Key West, I would have gone anyway. It was definitely on my radar. I had been there in college and had been very, very much acquainted with the literary history of Key West. Key West didn’t have really much musical history then—it was much more of a literary history, and a history of a really interesting, intriguing place at the end of the road, so I would’ve gotten there anyway. It’s just I opted for going in luxury with Jerry Jeff.

Do you enjoy listening to your own music and what’s your favorite album of yours? —Carson Grubb in Spokane, Wash.
You know, I don’t listen to me much. I listen to Radio Margaritaville [on Sirius satellite radio]. The good thing about having your own radio station is they play everything you ever did. [laughs] That is not something that happens in normal earth-bound, terrestrial radio. So as I’m cruising along, I more or less listen to Radio Margaritaville because I hear things and I go “wow, that song’s pretty cool, maybe I should put that back in the show.” That has happened a lot since we had the radio station.
I think the favorite album is Volcano, not necessarily for the contents of the album, but it was the adventure that went along with it… the whole idea of how we went to this island against a lot of odds and in crazy situations and actually came out with an album on an island that literally blew up later.

I’m a long-time fan who now lives in Reykjavik, Iceland. This North Atlantic island has something special that I think you’d appreciate. What are the chances of bringing Continental Drifter here? —Michael Sheehan in Reykjavik, Iceland
Well, I actually have been to Reykjavik and Keflavik several times because it’s a stop when I fly back and forth—‘cause I’ve flown the Atlantic a lot. Iceland is the natural land bridge across the North Atlantic. I’ve been to the Hard Rock there, I’ve been salmon fishing, I’ve been to the pools. I like it. It’s kind of interesting because, you know, in the summertime, it never gets dark there. I was exploring that once: the theory of how you go out at night even when there’s no night. The Icelandic people have figured that one out. It’s a beautiful, beautiful country. [Continental Drifter is] my boat — in its third version right now. I’m looking at the Scandinavian countries that have very good boatyards there, because there’s a possibility of a fourth version. And if there ever was a fourth boat, we could well drop a hook in Reykjavik.

Do you sometimes wish you were still a small-venue troubadour instead of a really rich guy with a lot of toys and way more responsibilities? —Linda McDaniel in South Fulton, Tenn.
No. You get dealt a deck of cards and you go where you wanna go. And, I can be a small-time troubadour and still be the same person. I’m looking at the next ten years of what I’m going to be doing performing-wise, and if you look at what has just happened, I mean, I’m playing less large shows. In the beginning of this year I did a show in Anguilla, just on a little island next to St. Maarten, because I thought it would be cool. Then I went to Paris about 3 weeks ago and played a 400-seater. So there’s a lot more of that kind of stuff on my agenda. Right now I’m pretty happy with the balance of going and doing smaller venues, which we definitely still do, as well as looking at neat places to play and then still playing [big shows] to the faithful.

I go to Margaritaville in Las Vegas several times a year, but I never see your band playing there. When is that going to happen? —Julie Geer in Seattle
My band has played there. We played there several times. We opened the place. The great thing is the unpredictability of when and where we might show up in a small venue. We know how cool it is when you do that because people don’t expect you to do it. I kind of got the idea from the Rolling Stones many years ago: they’ll go play little small venues, because when you come out of those places you feel so kind of at home. It’s where you got good.

What is your opinion on our latest immigration woes along the border? —Mario Quintero in Indio, Calif.
You can’t lump everything into one piece of legislation, I don’t think. I think we are a country of immigrants and I see hardworking people every day who come here and I believe it to be our greatest asset. So you better not be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Just look at who is driving cabs and who is in the kitchens. It is the latest people who got here, you know? It’s the entry-level jobs. You can sit there and raise all the hell you want about an immigration bill and building borders. But we all seem to assimilate pretty well, that is just my attitude on it. It is a tricky issue but I don’t think we are built to be an isolationist country—we never have been.

What was your best experience while a struggling singer and songwriter? —Barbara Bernacchi in Chicago
I think it was the first time that I heard somebody who had recorded one of my songs. It was an old country singer called Lefty Frizzell and the first song of mine that anybody else recorded was called “Railroad and Lady.” I was living in Nashville and trying to make a living as a songwriter as well as a performer, which was really hard, because nobody wanted to hear what you had to say. It was very competitive and very controlled. Still to this day, very few people recorded my songs, but the list is pretty cool. It includes Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, and people like that. But after that first one, yeah, you figured you were in the game.

Do you think you will ever really retire? And if so, what will you do then? —David Harty in East Norriton, Penn.
There is the answer to your question. What would I do? As long as this is fun and I am healthy, it’s an amazing run. I go out for a show and I have to pinch myself. Longevity is not something you get into songwriting for. We are four decades into this and still going strong and I am just eternally grateful, so leaving it would be very hard for me. It is kind of like Joseph Campbell used to say: if you have found your bliss, it is like a great old car. You don’t want a new car, you just want to paint the bumper, change the seat cover: you just want to treat it well, not get a new car. That is how I feel about performing. Retiring is not an option for me, because what else would I do? I have plenty of time to go do the things I want to do now, but there is still something very unique about getting on the stage, that very few people get to do. And I am not quite ready to not do it.

As a survivor of an era of drugs, booze and crazed behavior, what was the moment that helped you transition to the next stage of creative fulfillment? —Mak Wolven in Den Haag, Netherlands
When hangovers started turning into surgical recovery days, I figured I couldn’t lose this time or this gift. I had to do something about it.

How do you stay in good health and condition at your age? —Rick Sintes in Las Vegas
I am an avid surfer. I surf every morning I possibly can in my summer home up in New York and when I am in the Caribbean. Not only is it fun, but just ask anybody who does it: there is much more to it than just the fun of riding a wave. There’s the exercise part and the fact that it is a very connected thing. I consider it almost like religion, since I am not a very religious person. I think the ocean is the place where I am most peaceful on this planet. So I ride my bicycle, I surf and I do a little yoga. So far so good.

You have multiple albums with an awesome variety of music. Why do the radio stations only seem to have two of your songs on hand? —Dolores Gormley, Scottsdale, Ariz.
Well, I think that’s the way radio has always been. It is a controlled business—you have to sound a certain way to get on it. I never altered my music to do that. I made some albums where I might have bent my music, and they probably weren’t some of my best efforts. But I always knew that if I had that parallel performing career, radio wouldn’t be a real important thing for me. What was nice was having people pay their hard earned money to come in and have you entertain them for a couple of hours. That was much more important to me, always.

I always thought that Jimmy had a great life. He sails, flies, plays music and really is just sort of a beach bum. As a musician, I would love that. He doesn’t play for fame (well, maybe somewhat, ultimately wants to be famous), he doesn’t play for money (he does, but thats not what’s important), he plays because he loves the music. It’s still fun. Like he said, “…I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t fun.” That is what being a musician is all about. If you don’t really know him, here is some music and books from Jimmy Buffett.